Once I went snowboarding and was crying at the top of the bunny hill because I had fallen down and didn’t know how to get up, and a nice pair of boys were giving me pointers and trying to help me out. And one of the guys was like, “You shouldn’t expect to be perfect right away. There’s only one person who was perfect right away,” and I was all like, “Who? Who?” expecting the guy to be like, “His name’s the Hammer and he lives up at the top of Death Peak” or something, but the guy was like, “He lived a long time ago, and he died for our sins.” And I was like, oh damn. And then the guy looks at his friend and said, completely earnestly, “I would have loved to see Jesus snowboard, he was probably awesome” and at that point I completely lost it.
i went to the gym yesterday and this dude wearing a kinda thick gold chain was going HAM on an elliptical and it was kinda loud. but like ok whatever yknow? then he finishes his super crazy intense workout, jumps off that elliptical, and walks away raising his arms in the air. he had…
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
i would kill to not have boobs. The first couple thou i make out of school, these babies are coming OFF.